Exorcists at Hogwarts!
by TsukiHoshiAsa
Summary: Komui slips something into Allen, Kanda,and Lavi's breakfast, and they age backwards to eleven. Now they must infiltrate Hogwarts and investigate the possible innocence lurking there. IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN. R&R please!


"Alright so these bears were eating a clown and- hey, does this taste funny to you?" Lavi abruptly stopped in the middle of his joke to look down at his chosen breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast, with a glass of orange juice.

"Lavi, I think you skipped a part of the joke," Allen said between bites of his massive morning meal, rolling his eyes to the sky. "And I've heard this one already anyway. It's not funny."

The redheaded exorcist gave Allen a hurt look. "It _is_ funny, and I mean it. This food tastes weird to me," he said, poking at the scrambled eggs, before bringing a forkful up to his nose to sniff. "It smells alright…" he risked another bite, chewed slowly, and then grimaced as he swallowed. "Definitely weird. You sure yours is fine?"

Allen paused. He turned a bit pink when he realized that he really was only inhaling the food- he hardly tasted it at all. So this time he took a slower bite, chewing thoughtfully, then licked his lips after he swallowed. His eyes widened. "It DOES taste weird." Suddenly, Allen's face screwed up with pain. He bent nearly double, arms clutching his stomach. Stumbling off the bench that was pulled up to his table in the mess hall, he rushed for the door, one hand held against his mouth. Jerry, watching Allen's exit, pouted.

"I didn't think my cooking was _that_ bad…"

But Lavi and Kanda- who had been dining alone at the other end of the mess hall- soon followed suit, all in similar states. When the two older exorcists reached their destination- which all happened to be the bathroom- they found Allen already there, bent over one of the toilets, extremely pale and sweating profusely. The white-haired boy groaned. "Aghh, my stomach…" he panted. The other two were in no better shape, each suffering from what they thought was the worst food poisoning any of them had ever experienced in their lives. Then, one by one, starting with Allen, they grew dizzy, faint, seeing spots dance before their eyes. They were perfectly miserable, each and every one.

Then, as if a switch had been turned off, the exorcists felt fine again, no different than they had before. Blinking confusedly, Allen stood. Only to trip over his own pants. "Ack! What is going on?" He looked down at himself, to find his clothes seemed to have grown quite a bit. Seizing his pants about the waist and holding them up, he shuffled awkwardly out and looked for the other two. "Hey, you guys alright?"

"Aah, yeah, I think I'm fine." Lavi said, walking out of the stall he had occupied.

Allen shouted in surprise and dropped his pants, exposing his choice underwear- black boxers with cute little hearts.

Lavi didn't look like Lavi.

Well, he did, except much younger. He looked positively pre-pubescent, in fact. And as Kanda came out, Allen noticed he looked quite young as well.

Lavi's eyes went wide as dinner plates. "Woah, Allen, you're a little kid!" Then the redhead burst out laughing. "And what's with that underwear?"

Allen, blushing furiously, tugged his pants up once more. "You're a kid too! And that's not what we should be worried about right now!" He shouted.

"You're right," Kanda broke in, his voice deadly. "What we should be worrying about is how we're going to hide the body once we're through with that damn stupid Komui!" Clinging to his own clothes in a rather comical way, Kanda stumbled ungracefully out of the bathroom, dragging Mugen behind him, the sword clinking as it moved over the stone floor.

Komui was studiously ignoring his paperwork in his cluttered, messy office, doing just about anything he could to avoid doing the work. He had been in the middle of trying to build a house of cards on his already chaotic desk when the door to his office suddenly slammed open, the gust of wind from the forceful entrance knocking his over his 5 story mansion. "Ohh, now what was that for?" he pouted as he looked up, only to see a very young and _very angry_ Kanda glaring daggers at him.

Seeming oblivious to the murderous look, the Chinese man smiled. "Oh thank goodness! It looks like my little serum worked!" he said, clapping his hands together joyfully. "Good, good, that means we can get right to work."

"Komui." Kanda growled low and toxically, advancing slowly, murderous intent clear in his stance. But as he tried to draw his Mugen, he found his arms were too short, and he had to lay the sword on its side to slide it all the way out of its sheath. But in doing so, he managed to trip over his loose pants and sprawl face first on the paper-strewn floor.

By now, Allen and Lavi had made it there as well, and once more Komui clasped his hands together. "You're all here! Right! Just sit there," he motioned to the couch situated in the only semi-clear spot in the room, "and we can get started with the briefing."

Allen and Lavi somehow managed to rein Kanda and prevent him from brutally murdering the Black Order's supervisor, wrestling him over to the couch where they sat him down, holding him there. His rage simmered, radiating off him in nauseating waves. If looks could kill, Komui would have been pulverized to little miniature dust particles long ago.

"Alright kids," Komui said delightedly, pointing to a map of Europe pinned up to a wall. There's a certain school here. One that teaches children magic. And strange things have been going on. There are rumors of something called the Sorcerer's Stone. We believe this to be Innocence. So I want you three to infiltrate the school and locate this stone."

"And why exactly," Kanda fumed, "do we have to be little fucking kids?"

"Oh, child!" Komui exclaimed, obviously enjoying the fact that Kanda now appeared much younger, enjoying playing on it. "You'd better be a good little boy and watch your language, or I'll have to wash your mouth out with soap!"

"Just tell me damn why!" The samurai thundered, standing up and reaching for his Mugen. But being only eleven really took away the 'daunting figure' part of his threat, and he only looked silly.

"Because," Komui explained. "First years start at the age you are now physically- eleven. And don't you think it would be suspicious to have new students just suddenly appearing in the middle of one of the years? We need you to be completely un-suspicious. So we're putting you in there in the first year."

Before Kanda could put in another word, Komui went on. "We've already had some finders go out and get most of your school supplies, but you need to go get your wands yourselves. It seems like innocence- You don't choose it, it chooses you." As he spoke, a finder rolled in three large suitcases with some sort of crest on it, mainly occupied by a large letter H. "There's your things. There's clothes of the proper size in there for you, so take your things, go get changed, and meet down in the canals. From there you'll go catch a train to where you need to go to get the wands. Then find Platform 9 ¾ and another train will be waiting for you to take you to the school. It's called Hogwarts by the way. From there on, you'll be on your own." Komui waved them away. "Now off with you, I've got paperwork to do."

And so, dragging their huge luggage behind them, each exorcist went to their rooms to prepare themselves for possibly the strangest sounding mission they had ever been on in their entire lives.

**A/N: Yays! So chapter one redone. Imma be redoing all the chapters, cause I revisited it and realized how terrible it was X/ Hope you like this one better. And hopefully I'll be able to stick with this one for a little while more. Through to the end, that is.**


End file.
